Memories

You know how you want to preserve a memory so that you never forget? I have this fear that I'm going to forget things about my Grandmother. I'm thinking about starting a memory blog or journal to make sure I don't forget anything. I've been missing her so much lately. I talk to her in my head a lot, begging her to visit me. Lord help. I probably sound crazy. I just miss her that much. I know Jess understands. I wish I could hear her voice. She used to read to me when I was little. I loved her voice. She's the reason I love reading.

I would love comments or suggestions on the journal idea. I need a plan.

IT'S TIME

Ok so I know a couple of people who read my blog that are now also in love with Edward Cullen...lol. I'm so excited to see New Moon.

I love these books. I seem to forget in the process of this beautiful love story that the romantic, gorgeous, and stunning guy is in fact a vampire. I've read them all and fully intend to read them again. I'm now on a quest to get some kind of collectors box set of all four books.

I saw Stephanie Meyer on Oprah the other day. She told the story of the writing of the first book. She actually had a dream of what became the scene where Bella tells Edward she knows what he is. That whole forest scene where Edward reveals his sparking skin is where she started writing. She said that she didn't intend to write a book. She just wanted an ending to this great dream she had. She wrote from that point until the end of book one and then wrote the beginning. Aren't we all glad she had this dream?

In Touch

I am so excited that I have gotten back in touch with an old friend. Let me rephrase...we were best friends. As it happens with a lot of friends years ago we had some kind of falling out and I moved out and we didn't speak for a couple years. To tell you the truth I can't even remember what that was all about now. Anyway, she is one of those friends you can fall right back in rhythm with. It's like we never lost touch. I feel like I could tell her anything, just like we used to. I'm just so glad to be back in touch and plan to keep things going this time. I do believe everything happens for a reason. So, I'm sure there is a reason that fate has brought us back together now.

RIP Lexi

Well we lost a member of the family yesterday. Our ferret Lexi passed away. I never realized how attached I was to her until she was gone. I used to called her "that rat" or something like that. But she really was a sweet little pet and was a lot of fun to watch play. Chuck buried her next to our cat Little Man. We will miss her. I think we've decided to but a couple birds in the cage. Are we crazy or what? LOL

Facebook

Ok I just started a Facebook account a few weeks ago. Still learning a little. I love that there are so many old classmates and friends who were no on Myspace. Too bad it's blocked at work. I would get on a lot more if I could. So anyway, if you read my blog make sure you look me up on Facebook.

Summer Garden

Can you believe my mom actually found this tomato in her garden this year?

I know it's crazy but I swear it's real. Amazing!!!

LAST WORDS

A friend posted a blog today about some firsts and lasts that she is dealing with in her life. Just this weekend I had a first and a last. Anyone who knows me is aware that my father passed away almost a month ago. I met a friend this weekend to help me go through some of my dad's things. My dad has been in a band and making music for as long as I can remember. There is an old barn they transformed into a music studio where they could record music. Well I came across a CD this weekend marked "BARN SESSIONS". We put it in the CD player and my dad's voice came out loud and clear. That was the first moment I realized that I would never hear my dad's voice again except on that CD. Tears began to flow uncontrollably. I can't quit listening to those 5 songs over and over...crying the whole time.

Will you?

I have to say I never thought this process would be so complicated. At the time of my father's death he was divorced (had been for about 20+ years) and I'm the only child. Well let me tell you it is not as easy as I thought it would be. Since there was no will I have to probate the estate which means I have to be bonded (a few hundred $s), file paper work with the court (who knows how much) and spend about $1500 for an attorney to do all this for me. Any one who reads this, no matter your age, please seriously think about drawing up a will. Things will be alot easier on your children or whomever you choose to handle your affairs.

Thank You...

I just wanted to make a quick post to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who wrote nice comments in the obit guest book on the Anniston Star website. Everyone has been so sweet to send cards and offer their condolences. You don't know how much comfort it has given me to know that I have so many people keeping me in their thoughts and prayers. Thank you again everyone!!!

Jaylyn's First Braves Game

Last weekend we took Jaylyn to Turner Field for her first ever Major League Baseball game. She loved it. We have made a poster that read "MY 1ST BRAVES GAME" in hopes of getting her on tv. We had the game recording at home on the dvr just in case. With over 50,000 people attending the game we were not lucky enough to make it on. But the usher for our section came over to tell Jaylyn he admired her persistance. A few minutes later he came back with a Braves sticker, a 1st game pin, and a biggest fan pin. Needless to say she was thrilled. We also had the privelge of taking her to her first concert. The All American Rejects played a special concert after the game. We are hoping to make another game before the season ends. Chuck and Jaylyn were ready to go back the next day.

Plans Change Part 2

As most of you who read this blog already know my father passed away on July 12. Even though I knew it was coming soon, I never imagined it would happen this quickly. I was prepared for a few weeks of driving to Atlanta to see him.

The last time I saw my dad was the day before he passed. Chuck and I got up early and drove to Atlanta to the Embracing Hospice Center (who by the way, are the nicest nurses you will ever meet). The doctors had him on so much morphine that he couldn't stay awake and alert for more than a minute at a time. My uncle Danny woke him up to tell him that we were there and I leaned over to hug him. A few moments later he was sleeping again. So we just let him sleep and be comfortable. My aunt Peggy and I took the time to discuss what needed to be done and when. Her thinking as well that we had a few weeks. Other family member came to visit and we decided to clear out after lunch. He woke up long enough for me to tell him goodbye and I loved him. He mumbled an I love you too as best he could. That's when I lost it. Sobbing loudly into my aunts arms as she started to cry with me.

I called Peggy after lunch on Sunday. I assumed she would go to church before she went to see dad. She said he was about the same as the day before. He had a few days before refused to take a certain medication and wasn't eating or drinking very much. Basically he was ready to didn't want to prolong it I believe. About 3:30 Sunday afternoon Chuck, Jaylyn and I started on our way to my mom's to go to vacation bible school. The phone rings. My aunt Brenda called to tell me he's gone...that was her exact words. I'll never forget.

It's been about a week and a half now. It still doesn't seem real somehow. I know people have to deal with the loss of parents every day but I guess we all do it differently. Anyway that's what the past week or so has been for me.

Plans change

You know, I always thought when it came to losing someone close to me that knowing it was coming and being able to prepare yourself would make it easier. I guess to so degree it does, but there is just a whole other type of grief to deal with. I just found out Monday that my dad probably only has a month or less to live. Right now the doctors are saying the only thing they can do is make him comfortable. Luckily my aunt doesn't work so she is able to be there with him during the day to find out what the doctors are saying. Even though we haven't had a close relationship, at the end of the day he is my dad. Without him I wouldn't be alive. Anyone who reads this just please keep us both in your prayers. I am confident that God has a plan and purpose for us all. And I know that soon he will be with my grandmother and they will both be guardian angles looking after me.

Beach Bums

I can't believe the weekend went by so quickly. Thursday after work Jessica and I left for the beach. Ahhh...a beach vacation. The room was nice with a great ocean view, nice pool area and plenty of white sandy beach to layout and tan. We spent most of the day Friday on the beach...mostly commenting of the swimsuit choices of the other women. Saturday we did a little shopping, spent some tan time at the pool. Then we wandered down the beach to visit the Tiki Bar for a couple of daiquiris. Then we got a wild idea to get tattoos. Jessica got cherries and I got a "W" on the inside of my ankle. Crazy, I know. Then we got ready to go out to dinner. After fighting the firework seeker traffic on the strip we finally (after about an hour) found a parking spot. We still had to walk a country mile to get to Margaritaville to eat. We sat outside and ate dinner and watched fireworks. After the hike to the restaurant in heels Jessica was about ready to crawl to the car...lol...all women know how that feels. By Sunday morning at check out time we were both wishing for at least one more day to be beach bums. So here we are back at work...it was nice while it lasted!!

Sing it girl!!

Anyone who has kids will relate to this. You know how kids will get stuck on one movie or one food and want to watch it or eat that food all the time. Well Jaylyn is no exception. Right now she doesn't seem to be stuck on one movie; this time it's music. For the longest time she would get in the car with my husband and immediately insist he play Poison's "Every Rose Has It's Thorn". Then we moved to the great Ozzy Osbourne's "Mama I'm Coming Home". Chuck got the Zac Brown Band cd for father's day so now the new song of choice is "Chicken Fried".

She is such a big music fan and loves to sing. So last year I told Chuck we had to get her a karaoke machine. Just like any kids toy that makes noise, it can grate on your nerves after a while. But she loves it and that's all that matters. If I can ever figure out how to pull video off my cell phone I will post it.

50 Questions

1. How tall are you barefoot? 4'11"
2. Have you ever smoked? Yeah
3. Do you own a gun? My husband does
4. Rehab? Never needed to go...I love the Intervention show!!
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? Oh yes!
6. What do you think of your friends? I love them!
7. What's your favorite Christmas song? I'll Be Home for Christmas is a favorite
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? A latte' from Starbucks but I don't make it their often
9. Do you do push-ups? I like to eat them...remember those...they used to have Flinstones on the package
10. Have you ever been arrested? No, thank God!
11. Are you vegetarian? No but I think I could be
12. Do you like painkillers? I do if I am in pain.
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? hmm...
14. Do you own a knife? A kitchen knife...
15. Do you have A.D.D.? what was the questiona gain....i wasn't paying attention
16. Date Of Birth? 2/28/80
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1) I want another tattoo. 2) I need to go to WalMart and get Chuck's fathers day gift 3) I wish this was Friday
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought? Strawberry lime ade from Sonic, sour cream, and coleslaw dressing
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink: Water, Sprite, coke(here lately anyway), strawberry lime ade, and tomato juice
20. What time did you wake up today? 5 am
21. Current hair? plain brown ugly
22. Current worry? I have no money and my ovaries hurt
23. Current hate? Fake people
24. Favorite place to be? home lately
25. Least favorite place to be? gyno office
26. Where would you like to go? The beach which is where I will be in a couple of weeks! Yay! :)27. Do you own slippers? Yes but they are fuzzy flip flops
28. What do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? hopefully a mom
29. Do you burn or tan? I burn once then I tan
30. Last thing you ate? A cinnamon roll last night
31. Would you be a pirate? ummm..no
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? It's been quite a while
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? ghosts
Where is 35?
36. Last thing that made you laugh? I'm sure it was something Jess said.
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? smurfs
38. Worst injury you've ever had? I broke my arm in two places and almost needed pins when I was about 12
Where's 39?
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3
41. Who is your loudest friend? My sister in law is the loudest person I know
42. Who is your most silent friend? Hmm...idk?!? None are really silent around me.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? I hope my husband
44. Do you wish on stars? I used to when I was a kid
45. What is your favorite book? Twilight series
46. What is your favorite candy? milk chocolate turtles
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?I didn't have a wedding
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I won't care
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? sleeping
50. Do you love someone? Yes

Isn't she cute!!!

60 Things About Me

Where are you right now? At work

Are you bored? yes obviously or I wouldn't be doing this

What day is today? Thursday

Are you happy? about what? lol I guess I am

Do you have a lot of friends? I have a lot of acquaintances

Are you close with them? I have very few really close friends

Who do you tell everything to? Chuck and Jess

Is that person your best friend? Yes

Does your best friend call you their best friend? I think so

Does your best friend have other best friends? Yes she does...I'm so jealous..lol

Do you ever fight with your best friend? Not yet...I don't think we would ever have anything to fight about

Does your best friend know everything about you? Not yet...we are new friends but she will learn soon enough

Do you know everything about your best friend? Not yet

Are your friends jealous of your best friend? Yes she has a flatter belly than me and a better tan..lol

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I have a husband

Do you have sex with that person? Um...yeah

Are you close with your boyfriend/girlfriend? yes

Do you want kids? Yes...that's where the sex part comes in :)

Do you miss being a kid? Sometimes...kids don't have to worry about bills and mortgages

Who was the last person to call you? Chuck

Who was the last person to text you? Chuck

Who was the last person to comment on your myspace page? Not sure...haven't checked in a few days

Do you have facebook? No

Who was the last person to write on your facebook wall? NA

Which do you like better facebook or myspace? who cares?

Have you ever cheated? No

Have you ever been cheated on? Yes

Would you ever cheat? No

Do you have any tattoos? 5 - kanji symbol for love on the inside right wrist, red bow on the back of my neck, sun on the right side of my hip, ladybug on the top of my right foot, flower/vine on toe on left foot

Do you have any piercings? belly button I took out a few years ago, left nostril, three in each ear

Do you have any regrets? Of course who doesn't....I wish I had finished college

What are you wearing? Black pants, royal blue top

Do you have plans for the weekend? We have Jaylyn and it's father's day

will you be with your friends this weekend? Probably for a little bit on Saturday

When was the last time you were drunk? It's been too long to remember

Do you ever lie? Maybe a little white lie

Do you enjoy sex? Yes

How often do you have sex? 5 times a day...we are like rabbits...just kidding...lol

What was the last movie you watched? Lonesome Dove on tv

Who was the last person to email you? Dawn

Is that person a close friend? Yes

Would that person do anything to hurt you? Not in a million years

Does that person know a lot about you? Yes

Who was the last person you talked to? Jess

What did you say? You did?

Do you wish you were somewhere else? The beach would be nice

Are you a nice person? I like to think so

Do people like you? They better...lol

Do you have friends from out of state? Yes

Where do they live? Georgia, Florida

Do you have friends from out of the country? I don't think so

Have you ever been out of the country? and if yes where? Nope

Where would you like to go? Italy

What song are you listening to? none

Are you getting bored of this survey? A little bit

Are you close with your parents? With my mom

What's your favorite thing to eat? I have a lot of favorites

Whats the thing that you hate the most to eat? Shellfish...I'm allergic

Do you think anyone will do this survey? Maybe

Do you think 60 questions is too many to answer? I've answered more

Graduation

Well we had two graduations to attend this year. The first was at Cleburne County High School where my brother graduated. Talk about crowded. The ceremony was scheduled to be held on the football field but due to rain in the forecast was changed to the gym...the hot, stinky gym. The next was a week later. Jaylyn graduated kindergarten from Ohatchee Elem. It was so cute to see all those little kids up there. Of course I cried at both. I'm such a mush!!

The ABCs of Me

In case you did not know...
A - Age: 29
B - Bed Size: Queen
C - Chore you hate: Cleaning shower
D- Dog's name: Nakita, Tori, Kane
E - Essential start your day item: A nice long shower
F - Favorite color(s):red, black for clothes
G - Gold or Silver: silver
H - Height: 4'11
I - Instruments you play: I used to play the trumpet a little
J - Job title: License Clerk
K - Kids- 6 yr old stepdaughter
L - Living arrangements- with my husband on about 4 acres
M - Mom's name: Jessie
N - Nicknames: Ging, Gin, Ginger Beth, Ginger Snap and scooter
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: when I was in the 6th grade I broke both bones in my arm and they thought I would need pins
P - Pet Peeve: Fakers
Q - Quote from a movie: "I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?" from Tommy Boy
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Siblings: one brother - 18
T - Time you wake up:the alarm goes off at 5 during the week...about 630 or 7 weekends
U - Underwear: some that cover all the jiggly areas
V - Vegetable you dislike: butter beans
W - Workout style: every now and then
X - X-rays you've had: teeth, back, feet, abdomen, chest
Y - Yesterday's best moment: playing cards with chuck
Z - Zoo favorite: tigers

Hormones and Hot Flashes

Well not much to say today. As some of you know Chuck and I are trying to get pregnant. I've been on hormones to induce my menstrual cycle, then more meds to ovulate. So between the hot flashes and mood swings that I thought were reserved for pregnancy and menopause, I've had to do ovulation tests every other day. I know this is the best way to take control of my body and the situation but dear Lord is it stressful. Everyone just say a prayer and keep your fingers crossed that all my stressing and calculating pays off. Keep Chuck in your prayers as well...Lord knows with the mood swings I've had he needs them....lol.

Ghost Hunters

Does anyone else watch Ghost Hunters on Sci-Fi? I know Miranda does. It is a great show where founders Jason and Grant hunt for the paranormal using a more scientific approach. Great TV!! I would love to experience an investigation with them. Of course I would be scared to death, but that's kinda the point I guess. I have always been intrigued and scared of the paranormal. I can't think of any personal experience with ghosts but I'm just fascinated. I recommend this show to anyone with the same interests.

Happy Birthday Chuck

Today is my husbands birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!! I love you!!!

Wild Weekend!!!

Well I finally got my nose pierced this weekend. It would have been pretty painless if the chic had been a little more experienced at piercing. I'm telling you the things peer pressure can make you do....lol...that's for you, Jessica!!! Just kidding, I've wanted to do it for a while now. I can't wait for it to heal enough to change out the jewelry to something a little prettier. You can't really see it in the picture because of the stupid flash but it's there.

Our little boy is growing up....

My little brother turns 18 today!!! I can't believe it. We are 11 years apart, so we haven't been that close. I hope now that we are older that will change. When you get older the age difference doesn't seem to have the same impact as it does in the younger years. I really hope we will become a lot closer and be able to talk to each other about anything and everything. Anyway I have derailed from my initial reason for this post....HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!!!

My Pets

Fella - Fella is a male cat. Black & white & so soft. He loves to jump up & curl in your lap as soon as you sit down. Here's a funny story about how Fella got his moniker. When my husband & stepdaughter brought home this cute little kitten that we thought was a female, we decided Bella was such a cute name. It wasn't until a few weeks later when Bella was learning her name that it was time for a visit to the vet for shots. Dr. Whitaker says "You know this is a male cat, right?". Didn't we feel stupid? Well since the sweet little kitten was already recognizing the name we didn't want to make too big of a change. So, we ended up with a cat named Fella.

Nakita - Nakita is a 14 year old pit mix. She was part of a package deal when my husband & I married. She really is a good dog. A very good watch dog. My one complaint, she snores!!! She snores louder than my husband. I can't stand it - drives me mad when I'm trying to fall asleep at night. I shouldn't complain too much. We will all miss her very much when she is gone. Have you seen Marley & Me? Get a lot of tissues.

Kane - Kane is a brown, boxer mix. He is almost a year old. He is a huge dog but still has that playful puppy personality. Playful sometimes & just a destroyer at other times. He actually chewed a hole in my wall. He's just a big baby really. My husband's best friend.

Tori - Tori is a peek-a-poo. She can be described in one word - hairy!! She has the cutest little smushed face. My mom had Tori's sister first & named her Rory. I decided they looked like twins so they should have rhyming names like twins.

Lexi - Sexy Lexi is our white ferret. Now, I say big rat but my husband & stepdaughter love her. Even Tori loves her. They chase each other around the house when we let Lexi out to play. She sleeps the majority of the day & is usually pretty quiet.

Those are my current pets. We've lost a few over the years, but pets will always be a big part of our family.

Stress

1- Babies - I never thought I would be 29 and worrying about not being able to get pregnant. But here I am. I'm reading books that say stress may be a cause of infertility. Stress can cause hormones to be out of balance and cause problems with ovulation. How do they expect you to not be stressed when you are supposed to be charting temperature, cycle days and checking off the days on the calendar to let your husband know you will be "in the mood" on those days. Very romantic and stress free huh??

2- Money - Continuing along the same note...I think most people I know are affected by today's economy. We all have to budget our money, clip coupons and sacrafice some things we now consider luxuries that were once a part of our day to day life. I spend a lot of time each week looking through coupons, planning a menu for the week and making a grocery list. Exciting right??

3- Husbands - Whether your significant other falls in this catergory or is labled as boyfriend/fiance, we all understand the stress in these relationships. Does he really listen when I talk? Is he capable of having a serious conversation? Or does his whole world consist of UFC, hunting, work and a bunch of stories that I have heard over and over?

4- Work - Do you think there is a place to work where you can make millions while enjoying every minute of it? I'm sure there are many, but I haven't found anyone to pay me millions to read and watch TV. Therefore, I have the "pleasure" of working with the public. Don't get me wrong. Youn can meet some really great and interesting people. Then there are the customers who can obviously only be allowed out during a full moon. The full moon always brings out the crazies. You're smiling and nodding because you know exactly what I'm talking about. :)

Well I've rambled on about some things that were swirling around in my head. Maybe I do have something to blog about after all. It can be very theraputic to just get the thoughts out and move on to the next topic that will keep you up at night. Until then...